Broken Road Journey

Midnight Nap

Ξ August 11th, 2010 | → 0 Comments | ∇ Family Fun |

Doesn’t sound quite right to most people… but for those of us on the graveyard lifestyle – its perfectly appealling.  Just as sun people may become drowsy and occassionally indulge in a relaxing midday snooze to catch up on much needed rest…. so do us moon people – only our naptime is around midnight…

So I have thoroughly enjoyed my night off duty… I woke up around dinnertime for the household and had a couple of delicious tacos with the family gathered around the table together (Minus Terry whom I sorely felt the absence of because it was his birthday)…  dinner was rather yummy that Kat had cooked for us, and afterwards I had some delicious red velvet cake which Heather had made for dessert. 

Worked on my Facebook, keeping in touch with folks and responding to things… watched a couple of forensic shows, did a little research, worked on a project or two for just long to enough to convince myself that an effort had been made… and then took my aforementioned nap…  I woke up at about 330 and savored the silence, lit some candles, poured my last drops of liquid harmony into the hot water and immersed my body into the soothing honeysuckle embrace of the bubbles.

Now I am up, and dressed in my baggy (comfy) worn out paint stained jogging pants and a loose fitting equally tattered old blouse and I feel radiant in the dark silent breeze of the fan, the only light my laptop shining on my face…  Bliss.   Today, once everyone wakes and begins it – will be a busy one.  Walter will go off to work and Lyndon will go off to school…. when they get home he will pack up his car and he and Victoria will be off to Orlando for the rest of the week at the Stars Wars convention….

There is plenty for the rest of us to do in the inteim of thier departure and thier return…  although I will be on duty for two of the nights… still a good bit of time to get some things done around here… which of course would be so much easier if my truck was out of the shop and I had freedom of mobility…  surely it will be fixed prior to thier return… I have my fingers crossed.  I so hope to get a more fuel efficient vehicle soon…. If I can narrow down my preferences…  When I bought my blazer, I knew what I wanted, and what I was willing to pay, I went to the dealer that many people at the sheriffs office trusted and had used and gave him that information, a few weeks later he called, he had a vehicle, I saw it liked it and signed for it – never even having driven it.  And to this day I love my truck dearly – I am not willing to part with it… I am just buying another vehicle for the commute back and forth to work….. and the only thing I have in mind to determine what that vehicle should be - is mileage….

My truck gets a whopping 15/20 mpg….So far the most impressive mileage I have found is in the Toyota Prius at 46+ … its a cute little car too… but pricey just for a commuter car… so I am still thinking about it… I love the Kia Soul (26/31),,, and the VW Beetle (20/29)  still mulling it over in my head..  I know eventually whatever I choose will become Victorias car in 5 or 6 years… so I am trying to keep that in mind too.. 

Well, I know this post is a bit boring, not much comedic entertainment value in it… no photos even…. gosh I cant remember the last time I picked up the camera just for the fun of it… maybe come daylight I will do that… but it is what it is…

Almost a year has passed….

Ξ June 15th, 2010 | → 0 Comments | ∇ Family Fun |

I can hardly comprehend it…. a year… really?  Well, 11 months is close enough to a year…. 

Last year at this time my oldest daughter, and her youngest child, had been living with us for 8 months… and she remained for another two before she moved out into living with my Mother-in-law, whom we also help support…. she reamined there for about 6 months before moving out and in with another loser man – whom used her, then left her a couple of months later….. she then went to stay with “friends” whom after a couple of months put her out as well, to the result of her going back to her last “baby daddy” and his family under the guise of me not being willing to help her and Hanna…. this was a lie (of course)…. and so after drama ensued over there ((as would be expected)) they (not she) called me to get her out of their home… and this occurred within the last week.

So during this past year I have had a LOT of drama, a few accomplishments, I have been laid off (twice) and have finally returned to my old department, which thrills me to no end because I do so love the people I work for and with.  I helped Heather get her GED by driving her to school and attending classes with her to help encourage her to better herself… it was one of the conditions of her living with us that first time.  She did accomplish that, and I am proud of her for sticking with it through the discouraging parts of the study work.

After my surgery, and returning to work for my totally awesome ex boss – Mtt Deakins – whom was a super great gentleman to work for (although maybe a bit too easily manipulated by his eager to please demeanor which lead him to being taken advantage of by selfish self centered people) I worked with him until the domestic division of his business closed and he was able to focus more on his international division…. and then I was transferred to another agents office which I was then laid off from 3 months later as he downsized through the tough parts of the economy…  I enjoyed – ok, well I tolerated – being at home for 5 months before deciding that for my own sanity I needed to go back to work…. and I was blessed that my previous employer was waiting in the wings to welcome me back, so after several requests for my return – I finally just drove up and said “Here I am” and they took me in and I was on duty 4 days later.

While I was home I did a lot of projects around the house…. one of which I will be finishing up this week… It is a large project that has taken many many hours of laborious work to bring into fruition.  Removing walls, repairs, stripping floors (by hand) scraping, wiping and sanding all by hand, all by myself… and over the next few days I will be finishing the floors by staining and sealing them…. then setting up all the furniture and decor which has been purchased over the last year to make the room complete.  By the time my daughter Kat returns from her trip to spend a week at the lake house with some of her friends – her new room will be completed and ready with a surpising ‘welcome home’…

Lyndon and his Papa-Daddy are a constant now… once Daddy is home I no longer exist… such is the adoring bond between the two of them…. He is growing so fast now, intellectually I mean…. and coming up with some of the most off the wall junk you could imagine… His facial expressions are so comical and classic – for he truly speaks with his entire being…

I don’t think we are going to take a long vacation this year… because of other struggles we were not able to use our tax refund to secure something in advance, and so instead we will do a few 4 day weekenders across the local maps.. We have some summer fun planned for Itchetucknee ((I am sure that is spelled wrong)) Cumerland Island, A concert or two… Walter and Victoria will be going to the Star Wars convention, we will of course be going to see the Harry Potter World when it opens… beach trips and such as all that….  with my work schedule being what it is, it is easy to plan such minitrips without having to miss work or use vacation hours…

I have gotten older and fatter – the latter of which I had really hoped to not achieve.. but it is what it is.  Also in the past year I have reconnected with many old friends and relatives through Facebook… It has been fantastically awesome to talk with the people that were once so very dear to me, or that fill memories of my life when I was young which I had long since forgotten…  they are all pieces of the puzzle of the journey that brought me into being…

I want to start writing again, and hopefully I will be able to find not only the time, but the inspiration for topic to fill this site.  I used to be able to sit down and pour myself into words easily, without effort or deliberation… It was a sense of freedom, of relief, of comfort that in some very difficult and dreary times kept my  sanity from slipping away and helped me navigate through emotion and circumstance alike…  But I fell away from it as it began to be utilized as a toll to ‘just relay information” or when it gradually became a study guide for others around me and seemed to provoke commentary, interpretation, or result in triggering defensive mechanisms in others…. and it became more of a burden and less of a relaxing dumping ground for my thought prcoesses…

It was of course a great source of entertainment at times for many, and a source of angst and agitation for others…  I do often find it easier to expel a large amount of emotional mumbo jumbo in writing for the world to see – rather than trying to express those feelings verbally to someone that does not want to hear it, or doesn’t want to accept it, or simply wants to challenge or debate it….  Fuck a bunch of that… it is not what my writing is about…. my writing is about me and how I express how I feel AT THAT MOMENT…. If you didn’t realize I felt that way about something, maybe it’s because I did not WANT to talk to you about it, I just wanted to write about it and express myself that way…. It may offend some people, but it is what it is.  I am not saying I am right or wrong.  And I have nothing to hide, I wear my heart on my sleeve – I am imperfect…  What I don’t need is someone using my writing against me to start arguements, or hold resentments…

There are many times I have written, and gone back a week later an readit with a “Did I do that?’ kind of expression… and I will erase it or delete it from being viewable…  but I am not writing a novel to last the ages after being proofread, edited and saved for posterity…  I am simply documenting my life and thoughts on things things my life endures which means, happiness, anger, struggle, joy, fear, sorrow, regret, pride, love, anguish, hope and som many other things…  Life is not all positive, nor is it all negative.   Never is one always right or wrong…

But it is interesting for the most part, isn’t it?  And life itself is a very blessed thing.

Escape to the Mountains. . .

Ξ August 12th, 2009 | → 1 Comments | ∇ Family Fun |

Our summer vacation this year (my first ever real away from work paid by work going someplace special vacation with my family) was spent up in the north Georgia Blue Ridge mountains…

From SUMMER VACATION 2009

It was wonderful being by the creek, and Lyndon loved fishing (or pretending to fish)

From SUMMER VACATION 2009

Playing with the photos was fun – making them look old timey…

From SUMMER VACATION 2009

The waterfalls were breath taking..

From SUMMER VACATION 2009

I loved the flora, here is a photo of a sunflower that has not opened yet..

From SUMMER VACATION 2009

And here is one with the flower open and the bees enjoying the sweet nectar

From SUMMER VACATION 2009

For some reason I thought the noses of the horses that we encountered were soooo adoreable, here is one of them….

From SUMMER VACATION 2009

The horses themselves were beautiful and comical…

From SUMMER VACATION 2009

Hanna was in tow most of the time, and always making her own unique faces along the way…

From SUMMER VACATION 2009

Victoria was my sweetheart cowgirl the whole trip… until the last day when she was not feeling well…

From SUMMER VACATION 2009

But finally like a cowboy riding off into the sunset the end of our trip came and we had to say good night, and good bye to our cabin retreat…

From SUMMER VACATION 2009

There are hundreds more photos like these (you can get to them by clicking on the photos) but I simply could not put them all here…..

MY BEAUTIFUL DAUGHTER KAT – AND SHE’S THE SMART ONE TOO!!!

Ξ May 18th, 2009 | → 0 Comments | ∇ Family Fun |

From KAT MURRAY HILL PROM

SHE HATES IT THAT EVERYONE TELLS HER SHE LOOKS A LOT LIKE ME, BUT HEY, I USED TO BE KINDA CUTE TOO!!!

From KAT MURRAY HILL PROM

EDUCATION DOES NOT = MANNERS

Ξ April 20th, 2009 | → 0 Comments | ∇ Family Fun |

I am apalled at the way in which I see the arrogance of supposedly “educated” people conduct themselves… Or perhaps I am mispoken… People that pursue education are not neccesarily educated, and people that are educated in acedemics are not always educated in common sense nor proper etiquette, or even basic courtesy and kindness.

I was sitting a a class tonight at FCCJ, a regular Monday night in a hybrid adult education class. These classes hold within their walls a variety of peoples from a broad spectrum of backgrounds and educational levels. most of whom are supposedly trying to “better themselves” as individuals. I find it ironic though that these same people whom are trying to become enlightened are so grossly lacking in the aforementioned kindness and courtesy deptarment. In fact, they are almost not just lacking, but practically non existant character traits.

They are downright RUDE, and insensitive and I would derive much pleasure if I were granted audience the day they received their due come uppance.

I was truly ashamed to be in the room while these two women spoke (not discreetly) back and forth about another woman whom was present in the class. It was as if they thought she was hearing impaired, or maybe they thought she did not understand english, but either way there is no due recourse for thier thoughtless and outright ridicule of the woman. It was totally unprovoked and unjustifiable. The woman did not appear to be a woman of means, she was wearing a simple dress and common shoes, her hair was not salon styled, but she was clean and presentable. However, she had lipstick on that appeared askew, or maybe she had a misshapen lip and that is what caused it to look uneven, or maybe she just wasn’t experienced at it but was trying to be pretty, perhaps it was just a cheaply made brand and had ran in the heat because she didn’t have AC….. I don’t know what the cause - but no matter, it was completely irrellevant, and did not warrant thier tactless verbal insult.

They were speaking of her instead of to her and talking loudly about how her lipstick was all messed up and how they should tell her and blah blah blah. It was vulgar, hurtful and lacking class. To make matters worse – one of the women is a supposed part time employee of FCCJ.

The girl finally left, I am not sure if it was out of embrrassment, or humiliation, or because she had completed her tasks, although she had not been in class for long… I felt so badly for her, and I am so angry… and I am ashamed of myself for not speaking out in protest while the situation unfolded. If I ever see the woamn in class again, I will befriend her and I will apologize to her, for the rudeness of others, and for my own part of not defending her.