Broken Road Journey

A month of Sundays… and all the other days too…

Ξ December 22nd, 2008 | → 0 Comments | ∇ All the children, Family Fun, General Interests, Heather, Kaitlin, Lyndon, Olivia Leigh Sisson, Terry Jr., Victoria |

 

 

Sadly, my laptop has passed into the realm of other antiquated irreparably damaged goods and it seems as though it has been a month of Sundays since I have been able to sit and write.  Not to mention the cascade of events and obligations of the holiday season… and the shopping, and cooking, and the list goes on.

 

I had a wonderful weekend just past – laughing with family over my sister unwrapping the dreaded basket of fruit my mother loved and we all loathe, so now it is Vicky’s year to display the heirloom in Mom’s memory…. Unlucky for myself and for my niece Collien, we both have birthdays coming up in April which will give my sister the opportunity to pass along the basket to another caretaker for the remainder of the year…. But then again, Vicky will have a birthday in September….

 

That evening my dearest and I went to dinner at Marker 32 here in Jacksonville with my entire office and their spouses, which left us 1 short of being the even dozen, but we all had an amazing time laughing, drinking and dining in the highest of standard.  The appetizers were gorgeous and tasty, the warm spinach salad was delicious, and my crusted salmon was divine, it simply melted in your mouth… I thoroughly enjoyed being pampered by the staff with the dozen plate changes, utensil transfers, and glasses that never emptied.  The view over looking the water and boats was charming and the company was impeccable and most generous.

 

Sunday was the annual Christmas cookie party at my house, so I got to spend time with my great nieces and Victoria and Lyndon making cookies (or in the case of Lyndon – just eating mouthfuls of icing) and I will put up some photos soon.  My daughter came up with the idea of next year instead of doing cookies maybe we could all make gingerbread house instead.  I thought it was a fine idea, so I think that will be the plan. 

 

Speaking of gingerbread houses, my sweetheart bought me a kit a week or two ago and we are all going to take part in assembling it and decorating it on Christmas Eve, which I am extremely excited about.  All four of my children are supposed to be here and spend the night with me on Christmas Eve and be here for Christmas morning, just like when they were young.  I am very blessed to be here with them this year, so much could have been much worse with my cancer, an it is a blessing indeed which I thank God for, for me to be here, to be feeling well, to be able to find pleasure in life without suffering.  We also have a special guest coming to be with us that evening which I wish were much closer that I could see and care for more often, Papa Jack.

 

Tonight I get to see my Olivia, and her family.   We will be carrying the gifts and stockings we got for all of them, and getting hugs and giggles and a lot of joy from watching them unwrap and play, and we are going to try to decorate some cookies with them as well… lesson learned though, no icing for Lyndon… OMG he was impossible the rest of the day yesterday….

 

 

 

Kaitlins’ Sweet 16 Birthday

Ξ October 30th, 2008 | → 0 Comments | ∇ Family Fun, Kaitlin |

Here are the photos from my daughters sweet 16 dinner..

 

Here she is so beautiful in the traditional pearls given to every female in our family on her 16^th birthday for generations…

 

From KATS’ SWEET 16

And here she is with her boyfriend Tyler….

From KATS’ SWEET 16

Another one with her boyfriend Tyler….

From KATS’ SWEET 16

 

 

Her best friend Monica, Kaitlin, and Tyler…..

From KATS’ SWEET 16

Isn’t she just as cute as can be?

From KATS’ SWEET 16

 

ENGLEWOOD SENIOR HIGH

Ξ July 29th, 2008 | → 0 Comments | ∇ General Interests, Kaitlin |

Has totally pissed me off. Sadly, it is not the first time, but this is the most extreme thus far. I went to the school at the last minute to pick up my 15 year old daughter, for just a few hours to help with Lyndon during a dental appointment, when I arrived I went straight to the “Student Services” section where you have to go to sign the kids out, and yes I admit it I knowingly walked right past the main office, despite the big ass bright yellow sign about 7 feet tall that says ‘ALL VISITORS MUST GO TO THE FRONT OFFICE” because I wasn’t there to visit, I was there to say “I want my kid” and then leave…. no big deal…. so I thought…

Well I sign her name in the check out sheet and tell the lady whom I am there to pick up and she promptly informs me that I “need to go to the front office first” Grrrrrr…. so after finishing up filling out all the information on the check out sheet, I head back to the front office, and I am standing in line for what seems like forever for simple tasks to be completed, and then have to be redone for others because they were done incorrectly the first time . . . As I am waiting I hear them paging my daughter over the main intercom for the school, which I thoguht was rather odd… but hey whatever.

Finally it is my turn and I tell her why I am there and she asks for my ID and is in the process of making a badge which she answers on speakerphone and it is the lady in the student services office where I had just come from, she asks the lady I am there with now if Mrs. Walters is there (why she asks this is beyond me because my name and my relationship are on the form I filled out to check Kat out and is on her desk right in front of her) and so the Main office lady asks if I am Mrs Walters and I said no I am Mrs “Woodruff”, but I am there to get my daughter Amanda “Walters”, so they banter back and forth for a minute getting the names right while I stand there patiently with an obvious “you are an idiot” look on my face.

The Main Office lady picks up the phone from the intercom to listen to whatever it is the Student Services lady is saying. She hangs up the phone and says to me, your daughter is not here. I am like “Excuse me?” To which I am informed that my daughter was not in her class, nor had she been in any of her scheduled classes today. I am stunned. WTF? I step out into the hallway and start trying to call my daughters cell phone and get no answer (no surprise there) . . So I go back to the Student Services lady whom again tells me Kat is not in school and that I can go up the the Attendance Office lady and find out if my daughter even reported to her homeroom or first period class at all, or if she cut right after being dropped off.

So I go to see the Attendance Office lady, I stand in the cold with the baby and Victoria in tow and wait for all the ignorant baggy ass pants wearing nimrod mouthy punk waste of good oxygen kids argue and talk back to school staff trying to get them processed for either being late, or not having thier ID badges or whatever. . . finally the lady behind the glass acknowledges me (thanks to Lyndon vocalizing his impatience) and once I explain what I need she informs me that although she is the one that could give me that information, she cannot give me that information because she has not yet completed the tasks of scanning the roll sheets to generate the data I need. Grrrrr.

I go back to the Student Services lady and she prints me off a sheet showing from the beginning of the year and points out that Kat was also “absent” from her fourth block class this past Friday, but that she had been to first second and third blocks.. She points out that it is possible that she had cut that class as well, but that I really need the data from the Attendance Office lady to get an accurate printout.

I leave the school and head around to the local restraunts that are within walking distance from the school, the Kyrstals, Dairy Queen etc… All the while I am trying to call Kats phone… no answer no answer no answer. I circle by the house and send her a text message from the computer, because she usually responds to those even when she cannot answer or talk on the phone…. no response. I go back to the school and try to find out more information and there is nothing more they can tell me but that she is not there. . . I am steaming by now, and really frustrated that noone seems to be concerned about the fact that my daughter is missing from school where she was dropped off this morning in the middle of a city where crime is rampant in a society where young girls are never really safe off on thier own, but they have the “ph well she cut class and skipped school it’s no big deal” mentality not seeming to be the least bit concerned for her welfare. I didn’t know what more to do, after having called Walter, Terry, and called and cancelled the dental appointments. . .

I leave there and drive to her boyfriends house, and on the way I call her brother so he can call her father as I did not have his contact information with me…. I get to the boyfriends house, and talk to the mom (I had tried calling the number he calls from on caller ID but got a generic answering machine) and inform her that Kat is missing from school and that I doubt that she would leave school without Max and that she needs to call the school and find out if Max is in school, and for her to let me know if she finds him, and I will let her know what I find when and if I find out anything.

I go back to the school to track down one of the resource officers because I am outraged that we are helpless to do anything to find out when and where kat went missing from the school… and why noone called. . . So for the third time I am back at Student Services to find the Resource Officer, but he is on the phone, so I have to wait. While I am waiting I watch this thick white guy using a flat iron that gets hot just like my daughter uses at home to make his bangs flat while sitting in the office. Ok, now I know damn good and well that if MY child brought hers to school she would be suspended for having a heat generating weapon, but this kid sits bolding in the office doing his hair until someone finally notices because he waving it around and takes it away from him… This same kid later tells Kat that he wants my “digits” so obviously he must need to be in Special Ed.

Anyway, I get in to talk to the Officer and when he asks me what he can do for me, I tell him “well, it appears that my daughter is missing” and he asks me to explain what I mean, I do so briefly going through the mornings events, and he says to me “So you mean she “just” skipped school?” … well yeah it appears she has skipped school, but as she is not where she is supposed to be, and noone knows where she is or who she is with – or by what means she left the school – then to me … SHE IS MISSING.

He asked if I had had them call her from her class, and I was like “Uuuh Yeah, that is how ya’ll came to the conclusion that she was not here and told me that she had not been here at all today” he asks for her name (for the third time) and steps to the doorway and asks the Student Services lady to call Kats class and see if she is there… (this is the same lady that I had asked to get Kat earlier that morning and that had told the Main Office lady that Kat was not here) I hear her call on the intercom and the teacher say that Kat is there and that she will send her up to the office.

OMFG… I am fuming do you hear me, I am livid with this school by this point. I try calling my son back so he can get in touch with his Dad for me, if he hadn’t already, and let them know she is ok and there, I also call Walter, and Max’s mom… Kat gets there and reveals she has been in class all day since she got to school, says she didn’t respond to anything on her phone because her phone had been taken away from her by her first block teacher because “one of her friends” was using it for something and got caught..

I was so frustrated with these people at this school that I just got up and walked out of the office with Kat, I went and talked with her teacher that had taken the phone, proving she had been in the class as well. . . and with the fourth block teacher about last friday, during which her dad called and I let him know that she was there and ok, and so he then had to call her brother that was already on his way to get here to help find her (and who she may have been with) .

It was a whole fucked up mess. My blood pressure went through the roof, I had an instant migraine that was throbbing, Victoria had gotten upset about the whole ordeal worried that something bad happened to Kat, and Lyndon was restless from being dragged in and out of his carseat. I hate Englewood, if it weren’t for having to burden the whole expense on our own, Walter and I would put her in a private school in a heart beat, when we were both working it was seriously being considered but Kat begged and begged us out of it, now with me at home, we just cannot afford it by ourselves… She really is the smartest kid, gifted for 7 years until she no longer found an interest in staying in it, and honor student until the last grading period when her grades dropped below honor roll level.

Well, maybe by the time Victoria hits the age to move out of Elementary and into middle we will be able to place her into private school, I loved Englewood High when I went to school there, but I loathe the place now. yesterday was just another example of why.

 

Park Visits & photos – - 7/9/07

Ξ July 18th, 2008 | → 0 Comments | ∇ Family Fun, Kaitlin, Victoria |

Series of pictures of Kat & Victoria Taken at a couple of parks around Jacksonville while we tried to have some outside fun on Victorias birthday..

I love the serious concentration on her face….

And then we have “Miss – I – am – so – GLAMOUROUS”……

And then we have “Little Miss I wanna be a photographer”

You can think it but don’t you say it. . .

My little sunshine girl…

And her own natural beauty shines through when she doesn’t clutter it up. . . .

If she only believed in what we see. . .

Goofing around on the slide . . .

Simple things can be so beautiful, Gods gifts to us are endless.

To laugh and play and claim the world as a child does. . .

Before we know it, time slips away . . and we grow up. . .

And then we grow older…….

 

DRAMA DRAMA DRAMA – 9/5/07

Ξ July 18th, 2008 | → 0 Comments | ∇ Kaitlin |

The below letter was written to my 14 year old daughter, in reference to a email found written between my daughter and myself sometime earlier in the summer. My daughter was at her fathers at the time, and had written me telling me that they had been pressuring her to move in with them. My reaction to her frustration was for her to just keep her mouth shut (as she has a tendency to be quick with her tongue) and stay until she had went on her cruise, finished with her shopping and spoiling and pampering they had been doing (hair nails etc) for her and so on, because if she smarted off to them or pissed them off they would be quick to discontinue any benefits to her, she would not get to do what she was so looking forward to being a part of, and she would not have the attention from him that she had been getting. So do I feel bad for having told her to stay until she got what she wanted from them, no, because anything she gets from someone that always brags about what they have, what they gonna get, that can blow all sorts of money on several watches and several pairs of shoes in front of her, brag about their boat, their house, their vacations, their this and that – well, yeah she should get what she wants too, and without being bought off with expectations in return.

Am I wrong or do I feel guilty for having said it? No, not at all. I feel that anything which her father does for her, or did for her this summer was owed to her. For too many years he neglected her emotionally, and did nothing above or beyond what was required by court order for his child support, even though he now earns so much that his child support would be more than doubled if I were to have ever gone after the allowed percentage, but I haven’t because it isn’t about the money. It was about him doing what was right on his own, more importantly for it to be done with her, not with money. And finally, for the first time in the past years he seemed to have been making an effort to actually be a “father” to her.

When she was little, her and her brother were never allowed to have alone time with their father when they were visiting him, the woman whom wrote this to my child always had to be there or have her own child there in the mix. My daughter never had her own “daddy time”. Over the years there has been a lot of hatelfulness, and bitter words between us. I have listened to tale after tale from my children about how Susan talks bad about me in front of them, making little snide remarks here and there and it has never ceased. I have listened to how comments are made about my son talking bad about him and putting him down over the years, and of course blaming me for every thing he ever does wrong or in poor judgment, never once taking into consideration how their own conduct or choices may be of influence on the kids as they grew up and or are still growing up. Noooo, let’s not mention how the actions of a neglectful father, a controlling bitter domineering step mother may have had any effect whatsoever. I mean let me see, this same woman whom is so critical of me and my children has some issues with her own children – but I am sure she can find someone else to blame for all those problems, because surely it wouldn’t be her fault, or her husbands influence. . . gosh no.

To her, and to my exhusband I say this “”””I take full responsibility for my actions, my words are my own, take them as you wish, take them out of context, take them at face value – it is irrelevant to me how you interpret them, I will take responsibility for them.

But don’t you think that before you act like a child, and confront a child in such a manner publicly in an open forum, perhaps you should have taken “action” instead of just being controlled by “reaction”. Would it not have been a more mature and adult way to speak with her father about this, show him the email, and then between the two of you as adults confront her, or her and myself? Would it not have been a more productive action to sit and discuss things openly between all of us rather than to have a hissy fit and act like a teenager on a tirade? After all, you are supposed to be an adult.””””

Since Susan wants to try to publicly humiliate Kat by posting her rant I will respond publicly as well, without all the mean mudslinging dirt that I could drag up because we have moved beyond that, and I don’t want to go back to that.

As for being suspicious of my daughter, or myself, do you really think that we have not had cause to feel that same doubt? Every other time in the past years that there has been congeniality from your side to ours, it was always followed by some sort of sorrow and misery where something said or thought was used to hurt or to try to control. This is nothing but old habits surfacing again. I have learned by watching my son, and listening to things said, and more importantly watching his conduct and his actions and I knew that this “bonding” was short lived.

I had tried in my mind to figure out what had brought about this sudden change, the increase in communication between he and I (my ex husband), and even she and I (my ex husbands wife), and sharing of information about the kids lives, although I much welcomed it because again, it seemed he was finally trying to be an active part of “their lives”, it was not in monetary gain that I was pleased but because he was seemingly genuinely showing care and concern about the kids as individuals, but because to a teen those “popular thing” mean more than life itself, yes I encouraged her to enjoy getting them while they lasted as I did not anticipate it going on for too long. But as I was saying, I talked about it with my spouse, and with my kids, and I just could not place WHY, the change. Was it because he had finally matured and stopped letting someone else control him? Had the failing health of his parents, especially that of his own father touched his heart and made him realize the crucial impact that fathers play in the lives of their children, even when their children are grown such as he is? What had caused him after so many years of inactive lacking had suddenly allowed him the ability to reach out to communicate with me to play an active role in being a parent, not only to Kat but now to my oldest daughter as well – the one child which for years was totally ignored and dissociated from, but now whom he is trying to help get on her own feet as a young single mother? I could not come up with an answer as to why he had changed, but I was thankful that he had, because it is never too late to try, and it felt good to share things with him about the kids to be able to address normal kids growing up and family life issues with him – to just plain speak civilly about such matters, we were once married for many years, there is no reason we cannot be adult enough to be able to have conversations about such things – as I have tried for many years to accommodate, and to stop all the petty back biting he said she said crap…

But I guess it was getting to her, and she had to try to find something to blow up into a new drama. Now there will be hurt feelings and hostility all the way around, instead of communicating and trying to find understanding and resolving the issue as a family would, Susan went out of her way to try to make sure it becomes something divisive between my daughter and her father. Blame me, I am sure she will anyway for what I said, but I don’t deny having said it – nor do I feel compelled to explain why I said it in any depth more so than I already have here, not to her anyway, should big Terry wish to discuss this issue which revolves around our child, I would be more than happy to do so.

As for why the shopping for things was done for her, the statemnt saying that she said “it wasn’t even known when or if she would get new school clothes” doesn’t make sense, because after all the timing of her return home was scheduled so that there would be time to do shopping for things before school started, in fact emails were shared discussing that intention as well. While true we are renovating, that is not a burden which is indicative of an inability to still maintain care of other responsibilities. The kids school needs have always been fulfilled, through my mostly my own effort, and I had not anticipated this year being any different.

So, below you will see the letter in all CAPS which was written to my daughter. And below that you will see my daughters reply. I have left all the misspelled words, and poor grammatical structure as witness that I have not altered the text from it’s original content. I will also state here that while I do not approve of the language that my daughter used in her response, I felt that it was her right to defend herself against such public attack with her own public retort.

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FROM SUSAN WALTERS

HOW DO YOU SLEEP AT NIGHT ? WELL, I GUESS IF A HAVE NO
CONCIOUS THEN YOU SLEEP QUITE WELL. I FOUND THE LIL E-MAIL YA SENT FROM HERE YA KNOW THE ONE , WITH THE LIES IN IT , THE ONE THAT SAID ” THEY ARE PUTTING THAT IF YOU LIVED HERE SPEACH ON ME ” ” BLAH BLAH BLAH NON STOP ” & ALL YOU SAID WAS THAT YOU LIKE CHARLTON SCHOOLS, THE WAY IT ACTUALLY WENT WAS MORE LIKE THIS, YOU SAID ” I WOULD LOVE TO GO TO CHARLTON HIGH ” I SAID ” WELL THERE ARE ONLY THREE WAYS I SEE THAT HAPPENING ! ) YOUR MOM & BOYFRIEND MOVE TO CHARLTON COUNTY, 2) YOUR MOM DRIVE YOU BACK & FORTH TO SCHOOL & PAY AN OUT OF STATE TUITION FEE, OR 3 ) YOU LIVE WITH YOUR FATHER,

WOW I DID NOT KNOW ONE LIL STATEMENT IS PRESSUREING & PUTTING A SPEACH ON YA NON STOP ! WOW HOW DO YOU DO IT ? LIE ABOUT PEOPLE & STILL STAND THERE & LOOK THEM RIGHT IN THE EYE LIKE YA ARE THE SWEETEST LIL THING . WELL NOW I KNOW , I LEARNED & LEARNED WELL, I WILL NOT TAKE YOUR FRIENDLYNESS TOWARDS ME WITH OUT SUSPECION, WONDERING WHY YOU ARE BEING FRIENDLY , CONSTANTLY WONDERING WHAT IT IS YOU ARE AFTRE THIS TIME , WHAT IT IS YOU WANT NOW . ALL THOUGH IT DOES SEEM LIKE YOU ARE BEING TAUGHT VERY WELL TO BE DECIETFULL & UNMORAL , AS YOU WERE TOLD TO BE SMART ENOUGH TO STAY LONG ENOUGH TO GET EVERYTHING THAT YOU WANT OUT OF THEM , ” GET YOUR NAILS & HAIR DONE, GET ALL THE SHOES & ACCESORIES YOU CAN , GO ON YOUR CRUISE, GET ALL THE NICE SCHOOL CLOTHES YA CAN, THEN AFTER YOU HAVE ALL YOU WANT PUT YOUR FOOT DOWN ON HOW YOU REALLY FEEL. WELL I AM PUTTING MINE DOWN NOW ! I FEEL AS THOUGH YOU WERE NOT HERE TO BOND WITH YOUR FATHER AS HE THOUGHT , AS HE DID MAKE THE STATEMENT TO ME THAT HE FELT AS THOUGH THE TWO OF YOU HAD REALLY TRUELY BONDED THIS SUMMER, THAT HE WAS SOOO HAPPY & CONTENT THAT YOU REALLY CARED FOR & ABOUT HIM & ALL THE WHILE IT WAS NOTHING BUT AN ACT ON YOUR PART !
NO ONE HERE WAS TRYING TO BUY YOU OFF WHAT WAS BAUGHT FOR YOU WAS DUE TO YOU SAYING THAT YOU NEEDED IT & YOUR MOM DID NOT HAVE THE MONEY TO GET IT DUE TO HER RENOVATEING THE HOUSE, & YOU HAD NO IDEA AS TO WHEN YOU WOULD OR IF YOU EVEN GET ANY NEW CLOTHES FOR SCHOOL. WHAT YOU ARE DOING IS AN OLD OLD GAME, ITS PLAYING ONE AGAINST THE OTHER, WELL GUESS WHAT I KNOW YOU ARE NOW PLAYING THAT GAME & I WILL NOT FALL FOR IT AGAIN, & WILL NOT LET YOUR FATHER BE PLAYED AGAIN EITHER, I DO PLAN ON SHOWING HIM THE E-MAIL YOU SENT EVEN THOUGH I DO KNOW HOW MUCH IT WILL HURT HIM
HE NEEDS TO KNOW WHAT YOU ARE UP TO .
WOW HOW DO YOU EVEN LOK AT YOURSELF IN THE MORROR ??

 

 

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FROM KAT WALTERS

 

i sleep very well at night. it’s not just the statement made in reply to what i said about charlton co. schools.

whether you like to admit it or not you were applying pressure, to me. even little things like bragging statements. oh we go here, we do this. we got that. it is all, bragging trying to lure me into a trap.

the same way you did to terry. he fell for it, and i wont play victom to it as well. show dad the e-mail. it was not in regaurds to him. it was to you. he may say things like what yall get to do, but it’s not things like luring things. and as for the clothes, and stuff. yes i did enjoy getting new things, BUT what all i got, was owed to me. Owed to me for all the years, i got nothing from him, all the years i didnt have a relationship with him.all the years i didnt have all the years i didnt have from him. and i deeply appreciate him for finally doing these things for me. i did bond with him this summer, and it was because i was finally able to. finally able to get close to him without you getting in my way. you have always been up his ass so far that he wasnt even able to pick me up or drop me off without you being there. i love my father, and would love to have my relationship with him grow. only one problem, YOU. you have always trash talked, me, terry, my mother even. and worse, you do it in front of me. you trash talk terry. and mama in front of me, without any concious problem. how do you look in the mirror? how do you sleep at night? do these questions sound familiar to you? how about taking a step back and asking yourself these questions? you’velet your son, trash talk me, hurt me, and just be un-civil to me. just in the last couple of years has he stopped acting the way he did to me. never did you say a word to him. and yea while im on the subject of your “precious thomas” he is no different from terry. he smokes, he drinks, and he is a little pot head. yea, dont act so sursprised. he isnt the perfect angel you think he is. you may think im a munipulative brat, but i think your a munipulative bitch. i give my thanks to dad spending, HIS time, and HIS money on me. i was not just coming over to use him. yes we went shopping, and to the mall, or nail place, most times i came over, but it is about time he decided to spend HIS time, and HIS money, on me. in fact, i was hoping to come over this weekend to go to the game with him but apparently now, that isnt going to happen. you are a nothing more to me than ” the woman that married my father”. while you are showing him the e-mail. be sure to show him this one as well. AND tell him that,

 

 

NO LONGER WILL I COME TO SEE HIM, IF YOU ARE IN THE PRESENCE. IF HE WANTS TO SPEND TIME WITH ME IT WILL BE JUST ME AND HIM. YOU WILL BE NO-WHERE TO BE SEEN. I DONT WANT TO COME OVER TO SPEND A RELATIONSHIP WITH YOU, I WANT ONE WITH HIM. AND IF I WANT TO HANG OUT WITH MY DAD, I WILL LET HIM KNOW, AND IT WILL BE JUST ME AND HIM HANGING OUT. NOT YOU.