Broken Road Journey

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Tabitha Woodruff

A month of Sundays… and all the other days too…

Ξ December 22nd, 2008 | → 0 Comments | ∇ All the children, Family Fun, General Interests, Heather, Kaitlin, Lyndon, Olivia Leigh Sisson, Terry Jr., Victoria |

Sadly, my laptop has passed into the realm of other antiquated irreparably damaged goods and it seems as though it has been a month of Sundays since I have been able to sit and write. Not to mention the cascade of events and obligations of the holiday season… and the shopping, and cooking, and the list goes on.

I had a wonderful weekend just past – laughing with family over my sister unwrapping the dreaded basket of fruit my mother loved and we all loathe, so now it is Vicky’s year to display the heirloom in Mom’s memory…. Unlucky for myself and for my niece Collien, we both have birthdays coming up in April which will give my sister the opportunity to pass along the basket to another caretaker for the remainder of the year…. But then again, Vicky will have a birthday in September….

That evening my dearest and I went to dinner at Marker 32 here in Jacksonville with my entire office and their spouses, which left us 1 short of being the even dozen, but we all had an amazing time laughing, drinking and dining in the highest of standard. The appetizers were gorgeous and tasty, the warm spinach salad was delicious, and my crusted salmon was divine, it simply melted in your mouth… I thoroughly enjoyed being pampered by the staff with the dozen plate changes, utensil transfers, and glasses that never emptied. The view over looking the water and boats was charming and the company was impeccable and most generous.

Sunday was the annual Christmas cookie party at my house, so I got to spend time with my great nieces and Victoria and Lyndon making cookies (or in the case of Lyndon – just eating mouthfuls of icing) and I will put up some photos soon. My daughter came up with the idea of next year instead of doing cookies maybe we could all make gingerbread house instead. I thought it was a fine idea, so I think that will be the plan.

Speaking of gingerbread houses, my sweetheart bought me a kit a week or two ago and we are all going to take part in assembling it and decorating it on Christmas Eve, which I am extremely excited about. All four of my children are supposed to be here and spend the night with me on Christmas Eve and be here for Christmas morning, just like when they were young. I am very blessed to be here with them this year, so much could have been much worse with my cancer, an it is a blessing indeed which I thank God for, for me to be here, to be feeling well, to be able to find pleasure in life without suffering. We also have a special guest coming to be with us that evening which I wish were much closer that I could see and care for more often, Papa Jack.

Tonight I get to see my Olivia, and her family. We will be carrying the gifts and stockings we got for all of them, and getting hugs and giggles and a lot of joy from watching them unwrap and play, and we are going to try to decorate some cookies with them as well… lesson learned though, no icing for Lyndon… OMG he was impossible the rest of the day yesterday….

I have been:

Ξ November 21st, 2008 | → 0 Comments | ∇ Just For Me |

I have been:

Behind the times, in front of the firing squad, caught in the moment, lost in memories, found in tears, under the weather and over the hill, held in tenderness, let go in anguish, drenched in rain, parched of hope, captured on film, released from burdens, fallen off kilter, lifted up in prayer, chilled to bone, warmed in firelight, basked in moonlight, wrapped in responsibility, stripped of dignity, floating on cloud nine, sunk in the depths of despair, hungry for days, fed in charity, able to give freely of myself, guilty of taking more than my share, braced against the wind, forced to push my way through, able to taste sea salt in the air, angry and spit out the wrong words, touched and whispered the right feelings, angry and screamed to be heard, awestruck and listened in silence, broken and ached from sorrow, blessed to be healed by love, remembered with concern, forgotten with callous, handled with care, jolted by trauma, racked with mourning, celebrating into the wee hours, a good friend, a not very nice person, struck ill with disease, made well by another’s wisdom, covered with confidence, exposed to death, struggling to learn forgiveness, hoping to teach compassion, used by those whom are self serving, capable of manipulating others, stuck in the middle, falsely accused of malice, defended to the end, weighed by the scales of justice, on the wrong side of the tracks, at the top of the ladder, challenged on perspective, buried in paperwork, ashamed of my decisions, excited about an opportunity, tempted by evil, forgiven through Christ, created through Gods grace and saved through his mercy.

A week after… and all is well

Ξ November 11th, 2008 | → 0 Comments | ∇ Just For Me |

Today marks a week. . . a full cyclical turn on the calendar and all is thus far well. I am free of medications other than those for my anemia, and I am able to move about fairly easily… I simply tire more rapidly than I am accustomed to and am feeble feeling which is a sensation that I simply loathe.

Lyndon is home again this weekend past from visiting with his Uncles and Grandparents during the several days immediately following the surgery. It was a great help to me not having the burden of caring for him during that time, and I would have not minded it going a bit longer but Walter was going absolutely insane with Lyndons prolonged absence and it was becoming an unbearable thing for him to endure.

In the reaminder of this week I will begin to try to combat some of the chores of which the family has found the luxury of procrastination. Nothing grand, but a little here and there, pushing myself to rebuild my strengths… The holidays are coming, and I have a new me to slowly unwrap ahead of time for s seasonal celebration of self!!!

THREE DAYS SINCE

Ξ November 6th, 2008 | → 0 Comments | ∇ Family Fun |

Today is the third day since my surgery for uterine cancer, well depending on how you look at it - it might be the second, and I am home, fairly comfortable, and very blessed.

While in surgery and my uterus was removed and sent to pathology the preliminary results showed that the cancer was restricted to a small area and had not spread, that it was non aggressive and therefore I was able to keep my ovaries and my lymph nodes, and because we caught it so early and were able to do this – I will most likely not have to go through chemotherapy. That will be ultimately determined by the final extensive pathology results, which will be in after a week or two, but we are most encouraged that it will not change the current prognosis.

I am sore as to be expected, but the pain is bearable and I am only taking half of my recommended pain medication and skipping every other dose. Surprisingly most of the pain is not from the surgery point, but is a side effect of the procedure. For instance my lower back that had been whispering a relentless ache for a week prior is now screaming after having been the pressure point bearing my uplifted legs in the airs for hours in stirrups during the surgery. And my neck and shoulders feel as though I have been struck repeatedly with an old mans cane, tenderly bruised and ultra-sensitive – I am told this is a side effect of gases rising from the surgical site through the body and settling in the muscle structure around the shoulders and neck…

The medicine is great and it definitely relieves the pain, but it knocks me into a semi conscious state of La-La, where I am dreamily aware of sounds around me, and yet in and out of my own little dream world. . . I know the phone is ringing right beside me, and I can tell whom it is by the ring tone, but I am incapable of answering it because La-La land has a gravitational pull which prohibits movements for an certain amount of time…

Three days since, and a lifetime to go. God has blessed me again in such a way that I cannot justify my deserving, His mercy is endless and His grace is divine.